I'm a new creation.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; 

the old has gone, the new has come! 

2 Corinthians 5:17

I am a new creation in Christ. My old, wretched, torn-up life means nothing because He covers me with His love (and more appropriately, His blood). We should live as new creations, not clinging on to our past lives with the sins and muck, but press forward in pursuing righteousness and holiness. And not righteousness as in "holier than thou" but righteousness as in making it our primary goal to act out the most important commandments: 1) Love God. 2) Love others. 

This is what I've solely meditating on this past week. 

Saturday! Probably my favorite day of the week. During the Fall, there is most likely a football game to attend, and in the Spring, lots of retreats and time to hike the gorgeous mountains that surround my university. I thoroughly enjoy spending Saturday mornings with a cup a tea and my laptop, scrolling through Newsfeeds and enjoying the nature of having nothing in particular to do. 

Two of my good friends, Matt and Nate, decided they wanted to make a calendar of their Bible Study guys (the one they lead), so I spent a good portion of the afternoon taking photos of them. Here's a some (well, twelve) of my favorites. We found some AWESOME trees on campus and, because they are guys, they were all over them. Honestly, taking photos of them was a lot more fun than I expected. Yay! 

News!

In his heart a man plans his course,

but the Lord determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

He has our plans and is doing things in our best interest. He knows exactly which way we're going and what those things are going to lead to. My post yesterday really touched on these things and I don't see a true need in repeating them all. 

Either way... 

BIG NEWS. 
Today was extremely productive. I got reading done for classes, assignments done that aren't due til later this week or next, AND planned a retreat. That's right. A retreat. 

Within Cru, I'm a part of a team called, appropriately, Freshmen Team. We meet weekly to discuss how to better the community within the freshmen and so on and so forth. Anyways, my good friend Nate (the one I took photos of for the Bible Study!) and I are in charge of planning the retreat for the freshmen which will happen in the Spring. 
This is a big responsibility but I have a lot of faith in us! We met today for a solid two hours planning and got a huge chunk done. Now, all of this has to go through the proper channels and under review of everyone else on the Freshmen Team and by the time it actually happens, will probably look nothing like what we planned today - but that's okay. I'm free to go with the flow. If there is something I've learned this past year, it's that more heads ARE better than one and it leads to more successful events. 

Okay, now to the big news. I got accepted as a Greystone counselor! Eeeek!!! So excited! I'm excited for this summer and all that God will do in my life between now and then to prepare me for it. I'm excited and will be praying for the girls that will attend this summer and that God will work tremendously in their lives as well. I'll be praying for my the other staff that I'll be leading with, that I can make true friendships and that we can grow closer by serving the Lord together. I'm just so excited and thankful for all of it.
I'm especially relieved by the fact that I know (or at I think I know...) what will happen this summer. It's a weight off my shoulder. Hopefully something drastic doesn't happen to change all of that, but if it does, I can't imagine what better things God would have in store for me. 

My Blueprint.

So you will find favor and good success

in the sight of God and man.

Proverbs 3:4

It is my belief that God literally plans out every moment of our lives. Where I step, who I pass on the street, what exact time I leave my apartment to pass the people and step in those spots. This idea freaks some people out, and others disagree with it. My friend Matt holds the opinion that God plans out big moments and deciding factors in our lives, but that we make our ways to get there. I think God plays a more intricate role, hence my earlier statement. Either way, it's reassuring and comforting to know that it is all planned out for me. That I don't need to worry about tomorrow, or next week, or this coming summer - because God already made those plans and is directing me in the way I need to go to best fulfill those plans. I serve an awesome God. 

I went sharing today with Leslie, who is on Cru Staff this year. She has challenged me in more ways than anyone else on this campus. I am so thankful for her for pushing my boundaries and shoving me outside of my comfort zone. We were able to have this awesome conversation with a Sophomore girl and talk to her about her beliefs. And it went really well!

PostSecret's Frank Warren came here as well! I've wanted to see him live for several years, and am so excited that it's finally happened! His talk was fantastic, but very similar to past talks he's done. Just another thing to check off my Bucket List though! 

WOMANNNNN

So God created mankind in His own image

in the image of God He created them;

 male and female He created them.

Genesis 1:27

You are created in the image of God. I am created in the image of God. And because of this, we bear the image of God and our character traits are that of His (even though they get contorted by sin). A couple of weeks ago in the Bible Study I am in we talked about how we are created in God's image and how we reflect characteristics of God. It wasn't til that night that it really spoke to me that this means all of our characteristics - including those that are feminine! In my mind, I assign many male attributes and characteristics as those of God, but female characteristics remain inferior - we care too much, we are too emotional, we think too much, etc. But these reflect God as much as the male's! I am created in the image of God JUST as much even though I'm a female! I know God does not have a gender, but we assign masculine roles to Him, and this can make me feel left out or inferior BECAUSE of that. God loves me just the same - because I reflect Him. Lovely to think about. 

Today is beautiful. My mother came up this weekend to run a half marathon. She's a boss. She ran a half marathon on Saturday morning in my hometown, and then came up to run ANOTHER half marathon this Sunday morning. I'm so glad she was able to come up and visit my sister and I in our little apartment :) 

As well, I spent lots of time with friends this past weekend. Watching TONS of How I Met Your Mother and generally sharing thoughts about life. Very fun! 

As well, I received a letter in the mail today! That'll always perk ya up! I did a mini scream for joy when I saw it sitting in the mailbox and practically skipped up the staircase and through the hallways to get to my apartment faster to rip it open! A friend from California, that I met through Summer Project in the Dominican Republic last summer, sent me a letter after I mailed her one a few days ago. Snail mail travels faster than I expected! One of my goals for this school year (and really for the rest of college life) is to mail letters. Communicating through Skype, Facebook, etc has its advantages, but receiving mail brings a joy like no other! I'm frantically awaiting finishing my homework so I can write her back a novel of my life. 

I'm anxiously awaiting hearing back from Greystone to decide what I'm doing for the summer! My heart aches to go there, but I know that if that is not where I am meant to be, God will show me wherever it is I am supposed to be placed. Waiting is hard though! 

Desiring to Desire

Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 

Psalm 62:6

Some Psalms you read and just connect with them. This particular psalm is one of those for me. Although, the question begs, how much do I really act like this? I want God to be my rock and salvation and I want to believe that I will not be shaken, but do I live like that? Am I living like God is who I rely on, or myself? More times than not, I am relying on myself when I should be placing my faith and trust into God. 

It saddens me to think about things like that. How much I desire to desire God. The wanting of the want. It's a hard place to be in. I pray today that I allow God to be my rock, salvation, and fortress and not look to other things to fulfill those places, especially using my own self to fulfill those things. 

I am playdoh.

"O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?"

declares the Lord, "Like clay in the hand of the potter, 

so are you in my hand, O house of Israel."

Jeremiah 18:6

Looking back at high school, or last year at college, I can see how God has been transforming me and shaping me for His purposes. Granted, I have no idea what many of those future purposes may be... but I trust Him in those. My life, my attitude, my thoughts, made such a 360 over the past year. So many of my attributes have conformed in some way. It's amazing how the Creator works in that way.

A great example for that is evangelism. I'll admit it. I am terrified of evangelism. The thought of walking up to a random person and talking to them about God and Jesus horrifies me. I am blown away by the people that do it for a living (like some of our Cru staff), but the thought of me doing it - no way. And then this year, one of the staff started meeting with me one-on-one and challenged me with it, to go out into our student center and do Perspectives with someone. Perspectives is this nifty little deck of cards that, through a series of questions, allows people to explore and express their own views on God, human nature, and what's important. It's basically a way to survey students. And, if the time presents itself, we share the  Gospel. It's phenomenal. More often than not, it is just a conservation, and we pray that God fosters those thoughts and has that person talk to their friends about those things as well. Now, there are people that are fantastic at using Perspective cards. I am not one of them. However, my heart has definitely changed since first coming to Cru, when I would not have touched anything even like that with a ten-foot stick. Now, I'm (somewhat) okay with it! I mean, I am not going to say that I am not terrified every time I do it and need a little push to get going, but that's what the Holy Spirit's for. 

He is the potter, we are the clay. Be flexible. 

Work-In-Progress

Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character.

Deuteronomy 8:2

Pride is the root of many, many of my sins. I think it's true for everyone, and so goes the common saying, "Pride gets in the way." It's terribly true! We are a prideful, sinful people, needing of a Savior and redeemer to rescue us from our sin. 

Even in the verrrrry beginning, when Lucifer fell, it was his pride that made him fall - nothing else. In the same way, the majority of my sin is found my pride. My belief that I am better than others - and that leads me to being selfish and doing my own thing.
Getting rid of the pride is the same thing of admitting that you need a Savior. I love it. 

This verse is super encouraging though. It is saying that God is humbling the people and testing them... but for a purpose. There is a reason behind it all. I like that. God works on my heart and tests me, and it is all for a purpose that may someday be revealed (or it will happen and I won't even notice it). He works in miraculous ways. 

So even now, as I drudge on through hot days and busy classes - they are for a reason. They are working and shaping me into the person I need to be for later on... it's a curious thing.  

No Regreats.

**I've realized after reading and re-reading that this just turns into a giant rant. But that's what I need right now. **

This school year, one of the big things I'm working on is having no regrets. More blatantly, being careful with what I say and do so I won't have any regrets. This is so much easier said then done. Thinking before doing is such a mental battle. It's a constant everyday thing.

I've really regretted a lot of things that I've said in the past, whether it was to my parents or friends or whomever. I say things in the heat of the moment that really hurt people. Close friends have confided in me and then when we're in a fight I know exactly where to stab that will hurt the most. Thankfully, I haven't done this recently because after that type of thing happens I'm a wreck because I feel so terrible.

Within that, I'm working on judging as well. I've been working for a while on not judging people, but this year I'm mainly working on not judging couples.
I judge couples like there is no tomorrow. It's so terrible. I mock endlessly. Couples with their 'oh babe i love you.' all over each other's wall and the HUNDREDS of couple pictures. Honestly man, I don't want to see that. I have to watch you and your little boyfriend or girlfriend make out all over the place on campus, I really don't want to see pictures of it. No thank you. If you would like to reminisce about you and your lover making out, go ahead, take all of the pictures you want. Just don't put them on facebook. No one else wants to see that.
That's the least of the evils of couple-dom though. I could go on for days about the annoyances. Basically, if you would be uncomfortable watching someone do the thing you are doing in public, DON'T do it. The end.

I think the fact that I just completely ranted about couples was something I should have thought out about before I wrote it. But at least it is well phrased. 

In times that this when I honestly just need a little more patience I have to pull out the God card and just look at my Bible.
Psalm 121 helps. I don't feel like quoting it. Look it up. SWORD DRILL :D

Or... here it is. Courtesy of Biblegateway.com

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
    he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

My pledge: No regrets. I will have no regrets. I will think about my actions before I do them. I will think through my thoughts before I say anything. I will listen to advice and accept the wisdom of others.

Maybe after all this school year is over, I'll be a little wiser. One can hope.