Seek Justice. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly.

This week has been quite eventful. Freshmen Retreat is coming up this weekend so there is lots of planning going on! As well, I taught the lesson for the Bible Study I lead, so that was really being laid heavy on my heart. 

And within all of this, my fears took the better of me. 

Feelings like I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough to be leading a Bible Study. I'm not good enough to be discipling others. I'm not good enough to be planning this retreat. It would be going better if someone else was leading it. 

Fears that I've had for a long time - and all resurfacing at once. One of my goals this semester is to find my self-worth in God and not in other people (or their praises). It's at times like this when I need to remember that. 

Last night I was down. I was in the gutter. I let Satan get a foothold of my fears and oh, did he just run with it. I ended up calling one of my good guy friends, Nate, over. I was searching for affirmation in a person. But, wow, is my God greater than he who tries to tear me down. Nate listened to me as I stumbled my way through explaining what's going on and his first response is, "Grab your Bible." He led me through Genesis 1 and 2 - reminding me that I am the pinnacle of Creation. 

"I know I'm not good enough. And this is even more terrible because I know that this is the message of the Gospel! That I'm not good enough and that's why Christ had to save me!" I exclaimed through it all.
And this boy, with the wisdom of God flowing through him, calmly says, "Emily, it's not that you aren't good enough. It's that you aren't good enough to save yourself. That's why Christ died to saved you."

I have so many men bursting with the love of Christ around me. Even when I search for affirmation from them, they point me back to God. How in the world did I get so lucky. 

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After this interaction, I get a text from one of my lovely girls stating what a good job I'm doing and thanking me for all the things I do. 

I love these girls. Just at the right time, in God's timing. 

I cannot wait to see how God uses the women in the study I lead to teach me over the next two years. I'm already blown away a semester in. 

Even in my lesson, I taught about God's plan for our lives - and how his plan is for us to faithfully follow Him. That's it. 

Micah 6:8, "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy  and to walk humbly with your God."

That's it. 

Seek justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with your God. 

Today as I walk to class, I meditate on this refrain I've developed:

All of my questions, all of Your answers. 
All of my fears, and all of my failures. 
Seek justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with you, God. 

How can I ever repay this unfailing love? 
This love that never ends.
Seek justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly with you, God.